Being a really private person and being a blogger don’t really go hand in hand. It’s not very often that I’ll post something personal to me on here. However I’d like to share a little more about me on here and todays post is just that.
I look a little younger than I am sometimes, I still occasionally get asked for I.D when buying a drink etc. And at the age of 28 it’s less annoying than it used to me and more flattering! One time it doesn’t feel flattering is when it’s mentioned in regards to me being a mum. For example when I pick my 8 year old daughter up from school and a member of staff doesn’t know me and feels the need to say they presumed I was her sister. Or don’t address me at all and say to my daughter “she looks too young to be your mum”
Once in a room full of about 100 people at a show Jess went on stage as part of a demonstration and the host mentioned that I looked too young to be her mum and every face in the place turned towards me. I’m pretty shy and hate too much attention and was left feeling judged and embarrassed. It’s not a compliment, it’s just rude.
I actually don’t think 20 is too young to become a mother. It wasn’t part of my life plan but when I had her I had a good job, my own place to live and I was fine. And yet I find myself in the position where people are shocked that I have an 8 year old child. I dread to think how people who have children in their teens feel. One of the very best mothers I know had her son at 17 and she’s amazing I would hate to think of people making her feel judged for that.
Because I was so young when I had her I went to anti natal classes for 17-21 year olds and after I had her I went to a young mum’s baby group. I was so inspired by all the other young women there. everyone was in a different situation but no one felt out of place or judged which was wonderful. When I had my second child at 25 I missed that environment so much.
This is just of course my personal experience. I did a lot of things very young. I left school and home at the age of 17, had a child at 20, bought our first house at 21 and got married at 22. I’m hugely lucky that the risks I’ve taken have worked out well for me. I’m lucky that my husband works ridiculously hard so that I was able to stay at home with my second child and do fun stuff like organising vintage fairs and writing a blog to earn a bit of extra money.
It wasn’t easy having a kid young, 8 years ago you only got 6 months maternity leave and I had to go back to work when she was only 4 months old in order to pay my rent. I’m lucky that I had already done a lot of the things I wanted to do before having kids, like seeing the world, doing a job I loved and by 20 I had got most of my partying out of my system.
It didn’t feel strange at all to become a mummy, just another step in my life and it made me a better, more responsible person over night. Having kids has been the hardest, most challenging thing I have ever had to do, especially having a 5 year age gap as the two of them have totally different needs. I wouldn’t change my life for anything and I feel blessed every single day.
I’m not sure why I felt the need to share this, but it’s something I get asked about a lot. Especially by people who read my blog and automatically ask me about my little ones so it’s nice to have a bit of a share. Just remember that mummy’s come in all ages, shapes and sizes and to be polite!